3 in 5

I know, we’ve all complained ad nauseum about “the wait”. It’s awful. And it never gets better.

Had the transfer last Wednesday and we await a blood test Friday. We’re right in the middle, maybe 55% of the way there between transfer and test. It sucks. I can’t not think about it….and I imagine it’s even worse for her. She remarked last night that her gums seemed sensitive, and she’d heard that was a sign. But really, we agreed that when you’re taking drugs that are supposed to mimic pregnancy hormones, it doesn’t really matter. You’re going to feel the same things no matter what.

57% chance they said (according to their history, of course). It felt like 99% on the day of the retrieval, and even still 90% at transfer. With each hour, you start preparing yourself for the worst. I remain hopeful, but it feels like I’m fighting tough odds now, like 20% or something. How can you hopeful for a moment that has disappointed you so many times in the past?

It’s 57% – about a 3 in 5 chance. That’s what it is. Getting a BFP won’t mean all is perfect. Getting a BFN won’t mean it will never happen. It’s 3 in 5. That’s all it is.

How do I keep my mind in that logic?


One response to “3 in 5

  1. The two week wait is really rough. It is so easy to convince yourself it will not work, and you have to do it again.

    One thing I find difficult to get across to people not familiar with IF is the fact that IVF is not a sure thing. It basically puts you on a level playing field with everyone else.

    Keeping fingers and everything else crossed for you!

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