I actually feel just a slight twinge guilty, to be honest. No, I know we deserve this and deserve to be 100% happy….but so do those who continue to battle the infertility that plagued us for so long. I know how it feels to be frustrated and sad, and then have pregnancy stories shoved in your face, so if you don’t want to read on, please don’t. I get it.
We had the 6 and 10 week ultrasounds at our clinic, and they were really cool. Especially at 10 weeks, we could see a little gummy bear in there that we just wanted to hold. And we could see a heartbeat flashing at us. But it was still just….an object? It got very cool this week. We got to go to the normal-people doctor and have a normal-people ultrasound at 12 weeks and 4 days. We didn’t know what to expect; HTBM was a bit nervous (as usual). Totally normal, since although we’ve had blood tests and all has been well, it had been over 2 weeks since we saw the heartbeat last. It just…never gets easy. I’m not sure when you 100% trust that everything will be okay and you stop worrying. I’m starting to think that moment is over 18 years away 🙂
The normal-people ultrasound is pretty cool. Instead of watching my wife fornicate with a plastic wand, it simply goes on her abdomen, and the kid is big enough to see. Let me tell you, one of the coolest moments of my life was watching the kid move around in there – she or he looks pretty active! Heartbeat was 140, the back of the neck measured in just fine (too thick is a sign of Downs’ Syndrome, I guess) and we got a few baby pictures taken! I really don’t think this will ever get old….HTBM and I just soaked it all in. It’s becoming more real every week, every day.
I haven’t done the Facebook thing, and I just don’t know if I can. I know what it’s like to see the baby announcement on Facebook, and no matter how I think to word it, I just struggle with it. I can’t say I know everyone’s fertility situation that I’m friends with, so I just have a hard time thinking about pushing it out to everyone’s timeline.
Still, we’re slowly telling loved ones in person or on the phone or in email, and needless to say, they’re thrilled. Those that don’t know our struggle, they just smile and say congratulations. It’s nice – like normal-people. Just like normal-people.